The Power of Bee
by StupidSequel
Summary: Hollyleaf and Heavystep have a kit named Starkit who later becomes Clan leader through objectionable means and gets sued for copyright infringement for calling the Clan she started "StarClan." A particular insult overheard by Barry B. Benson causes him to lead all the bees in the world in a battle against all seven Clans, in the biggest battle ever since the Dark Forest battle.


**The Power of Bee**

Hollyleaf was going into labor. "Heavystep, my mate, go get Jayfeather! I need a stick to bite when the pain comes but my belly is too big!" The sexy kitty lay there, her belly bulging with the kitten embryo, soon to be born.

"I don't care that you're much younger than me. In fact, I like it!"

"And I don't care that I'm pissing all over the warrior code to be with someone as sexy as you Heavystep, even tho you're old. You literally went to hell and back for me."

Jayfeather couldn't find any sticks anywhere even tho they LIVED IN A FRIGGIN FOREST! "StarClan dammit! I can't find a single StarClan damn stick in this forest." Well, there was one stick. The driftwood stick he used Elmer's glue on to keep it together. "No, I can't let her bite MY stick, my one and only mate, my baby, baby, baby, oooh, baby..." he sang exactly like Bustin Jieber until he was interrupted by Hollyleaf screeching in pain. Jayfeather grabbed "his" stick and went to Hollyleaf's aid.

"Bite down on it when the pain comes."

"It already did. You're too late, Aspie!"

Heavystep looked down at the egg that rocketed out of Hollyleaf like apes out of a barrel cannon. Some time later a kitten hatched out of the egg.

"It's a bitch."

"Dude! We're cats, remember?"

"Oh, yes, yes. I'm so senile that I sometimes forget that. It's a she-cat." The infant kitten looked up at them with blue eyes. She had a light blue pelt.

"Let's name her Starkit," Hollyleaf almost sang.

"Sounds good to me," Heavystep nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe I'm a parent now. I wondered if I'd ever become a mate," Hollyleaf mused.

Many moons later...

"All cats join here beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting," Lionstar's voice boomed from above. After the whole of ThunderClan settled, Lionstar cleared his throat.

"Starpaw has proven herself worthy of her warrior name." Lionstar put a huge wall of text in front of Starpaw. "Starpaw, do you accept the terms and conditions of this EULA?"

Starpaw started reading it. 30 minutes later, she still wasn't halfway through.

"Starpaw, please don't read it. You're not supposed to read EULA's."

"Then how do I know if I accept the terms and conditions?"

"Just go with your gut. Assume you accept the terms and this rarely happens but those who break the EULA have to be part of a CATCENTiPAD." Lionstar pressed. Starpaw sighed.

Starpaw winced and then said, with fierce determination, "I do."

"Then by the powers vested in StarClan, I shall give you your warrior name. From now on, your new name is Starfire."

"Starfire, starfire," the Clan cheered.

"What the fuck?" Firestar woke up from his nap. "Things are gonna get confusing for the dyslexic kitties and readers of this fanfic."

"Oh crap," Lionstar said.

"What's going on? Does ThunderClan have two leaders?" Starfire was confused.

"No. I just forgot to demote him to warrior when I became leader. Firestar has been acting like such a psycho she-cat ever since we lost the Dark Forest battle. Firestar, you are now known as Fireheart."

"Fireheart, Fireheart," the whole Clan cheered his "new" name.

"Close a up, ALL OF YOU!" Fireheart snapped. They did as commanded and shut up.

"I wanna be Clan leader someday," Starfire said, a note of envy in her voice.

"It's just the way the game is played, it's best that you just wait your turn." Lionstar said in exactly the same manner as that male voice says that line in Rihanna's "Wait Your Turn," sounding exactly like it too.

"Great, now I just lost the game," Starfire female dogged.

That night Starfire found herself in the Dark Forest.

"Sup niggaz?" she greeted Tigerstar, Mapleshade, and Brokenstar.

"Nothin much. Just throwing a celebratory party for our victory against the Clans in that Dark Forest StarClan battle. It may sound like a cat version of Armageddon but it was actually purely for fun. So now we advance to the final round against whatever SkyClan has instead of StarClan. It's basically like the NCAA." Starfire nodded in agreement.

"I need you to train me so hard my muscles become a soupy mess cuz I wanna become deputy of ThunderClan so I can then become a leader. I've always wanted to become a Clan leader." Tigerstar's tail shot straight upward.

"Young lady, I will teach you everything there is to know about fighting and winning. After all, I am the grand master of the winning faction."

Things were peaceful in ThunderClan for about the 111th consecutive day. Starfire was getting bored. Suddenly she got an idea.

She went over to RiverClan and whispered in Leopardstar's ear. "ThunderClan are a bunch of (insert name of musician with a lot of hate) fans. Show them that they're dead wrong. They can only learn that thru bloodshed." She whispered the same thing to Tallstar and Rowanstar.

Starfire got back to ThunderClan camp just in time to see Rowanstar, Leopardstar, and Tallstar advancing on Lionstar with narrowed eyes.

"You're an (insert name of musician with a lot of hate) fan! GO DIE YOU STUPID BRONYFAG!" They sprang at him with unsheathed claws. Lionstar couldn't fight back because then he would reveal his power to unwanted eyes, so he let them beat him nearly to a bloody pulp.

"I'll save thou," was Starfire's battle cry as she swiped the other three cats' heads off by accident. Oops! "Aw crap, I'm a murderer. Unless…" she took the bodies to Jayfeather's den so Jayfeather could sew their heads back on.

"There, good as new," Jayfeather brought them back to life.

"We'll be returning to our own Clans now. We're sorry we nearly tried to kill your leader for being a (insert name of musician with a lot of hate) fan."

"Starfire, that was amazing. Would you like to be deputy now? I just realized I forgot to pick a deputy since I became leader when Firestar died and the Dark Forest won."

One ceremony and deputy EULA later, Starfire was Clan deputy.

_He he he. As soon as I kill Lionstar, that crown will be MINE! A ha ha ha! _She thought in Patrick Stewart's voice.

She went on a hunting trip and caught a thrush. She killed it and stuffed the inside with death berries. She then put it on the fresh kill pile.

"Oh Lionstar, hi. I caught you this thrush, cuz you're my favorite kin."

"I could hunt for myself but thanks anyway. I better share some with Cinderheart-"

"NO! Because, um, I.. killed Cinderheart. Yeah, killed the heck out of her."

"Aw. Well, that sucks. I guess I'll be eating alone then." Lionstar ate the death berry stuffed thrush. 12 days later, still alive.

Off in the distance, twolegs were shredding a tree through a wood chipper. While Lionstar was asleep, she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dropped him in the wood chipper. Lionblaze was now a bunch of bloody furry cedar like pile.

"Ha ha, joke's on you, I'm still alive," Lionstar said, his body a severely disfigured bloody furry cedar.

"I'm telling the others about the Power of Four prophecy," Starfire said. Lionstar sighed, then died.

"He he, now I can be Clan leader now!"

Starstar came back from the Moonpool with her nine lives.

"ThunderClan is lame and sucks. I'll form my own Clan. I will call it 'StarClan.'"

"Have you got bees in your brain? There already is a StarClan, and it's like the pagan equivalent of the Christian concept of God and heaven." Fireheart reprimanded.

"Screw you. My Clan will accept animals besides cats. I will have badgers, bees, frogs, and even Twolegs if they want."

The next morning Starstar checked her mailbox. It was a court summons. By StarClan. The one in the sky, not the Clan that Starstar formed all by herself that had badgers, bees, frogs, and Twolegs..

"Fine," Starstar spat.

StarClan's attorney was a talking bee who wore a name tag that read 'Barry B. Benson.'

"You are being sued for copyright infringement on the name 'StarClan.' Change the name pl0x. Also I heard you use the term "bees in your brain" as an insult. You should be thanking us, for we pollinate your food and we are smarter than we would lead you to believe. If it's a war with bees you want…"

All seven Clans (the four familiar Clans by the lake, plus SkyClan, and the two StarClans) were doing stretches and jumping jacks and jogging in place, warming up for the looming battle against all the bees in the world.

"Honey bees should be the easiest bees to wipe out since they die after stinging. Bumblebees are a little trickier since the same rules don't apply." Hollyleaf whispered to Dovewing.

"But I don't wanna get stung just to kill someone." Dovewing said.

"Which is why Heavystep will be our damage sponge. He never dies permanently so he can get stung infinity times. Theoretically speaking, that is."

A cloud of African honeybees was advancing on ThunderClan quickly. Hollyleaf stuck out her middle claw. The bees got angry and charged. Holly hid behind Heavystep. The bees all stung Heavystep, too late to correct their mistake.

"Aw crap, we're dying" is what the bees were probably saying right now. Heavystep wailed and writhed in agony at probably having at least a hundred thousand bee stings on him.

"Where's Jayfeather? I NEED to see him for my wounds."

"Just a minute." Hollyleaf padded silently into Jayfeather's den and bit him on the throat really hard until he went limp. Hollyleaf headed back to where Heavystep was, sobbing.

"I killed my, I mean, Jayfeather is dead so he can no longer heal anymore." Heavystep swallowed that easier than a scientist believing in gravity.

While Heavystep was the designated honeybee shield, the other cats were swallowing and slicing open the bumblebees. Many fled the battle, fearing for their lives and their loved ones. There were more casualties than the Dark Forest Battle. Finally it was down to StarStar and Barry B. benson. He would not back down even if he was the only bee left, which he was. StarStar chased after him, unable to catch up.

"Ha ha, you stupid cat!" were his last words before accidentally flying into the web of a Golden Orb Weaver spider.

And so this is how the warrior cats caused Colony Collapse. Nice job breaking it heroes! Meanwhile, Heavystep was still in agony from his bee stings, unable to die and unable to be healed by any medicine cats because they were all dead from the battle. And then he was stung by an Asian Giant Hornet.


End file.
